Shame comes when you disgust yourself when you say mean things to your inner child when you tell yourself that you are not enough when perfectionism gets the best of you and you criticize yourself very harshly.
Shame is the bad self-image you have made for yourself. Shame puts you is a deep guilt trip. But sometimes it’s more than just guilt. It’s a very bad emotion that has the power to destroy your confidence in seconds and make you feel like a helpless and devasted human.
But where does It come from? Were we born with this? Or do we develop this feeling with time through different negative experiences? What are ways to handle this devastating emotion? Keep Reading if you want your questions to be gracefully answered.
Investigations on Shame, Its Types, and Other Similar Emotions.
It’s high time we realize that childhood is a very critical stage of everyone’s life. Whatever happens to you as a child can impact you to the very core of your subconscious. The way you and your feelings get treated and the way your mistakes and achievements get treated decide how you treat yourself.
We all know the impact positive and negative self-talk has on us. If you were neglected or criticized as a child if you were not appreciated or encouraged enough then you may feel like not enough or not worth it. You may strive for perfectionism to prove your worth to your loved ones. And when you fail you will feel unworthy, shameful, or disgusted with yourself.
This case may be true for many people but everyone may not relate to it. Shame may also come to you for the things that you know were wrong and unacceptable. But is that shame or guilt? Let’s find out?
Finding out the thin line that separates guilt and shames The emotions like guilt and shame are often considered identical. The feeling is so similar that people think both are the same things. But that’s not the truth. There is a thin line that categorizes them as two separate emotions.
· Guilt means you are aware that the actions you performed or the things you said were wrong and hurtful. Shame makes you feel like your whole existence is wrong, unworthy, and useless.
· When a person is shameful, he/she is not able to live with confidence and pride. Their self-esteem and sense of worth decrease and they get low on life and feel depressed.
Shame is normal as well as toxic: Every normal human being feels shame time-to-time throughout their lives. We are humans and shame is a human emotion, so feeling and experiencing it is pretty normal. What becomes abnormal is when we feel this shame very deeply that it starts affecting our sense of self and we feel humiliated within. That is when shame becomes toxic for ourselves.
How to Conquer your Shameful Emotions Healthily?
Living with these shameful and disrespectful emotions should never be an option for anyone. No matter how much worse is the situation, giving up on the circumstances is never worth it. What’s worth it is you standing up and fighting for yourself, your feelings, your self-worth, your happiness, and your peace of mind.
1. First and foremost, accept that you feel shame within yourself. Acceptance is the first step you can take toward eliminating your problem.
2. Your self-talk is the most important and impactful conversation you have throughout your day. So, better make it positive and uplifting.
3. You feel these negative emotions so deeply because someone else was rude or mean to you. Know that you can treat yourself by loving and caring for yourself. You have to realize that the love you give to yourself will not only benefit you but also others around you.
4. Remember that it’s not always you, maybe the people you hang out with or your relationships are toxic and demeaning. Getting out of those relationships will be a boon for your mental health.
5. Last but not least, get yourself a certified therapist. Yes, when the shame within you gets out of control, getting a therapist appointment might not be a bad idea.
Conclusion
Always remember that “life happens”. Things get out of your hand and you may feel helpless at times. A lot of things go wrong, many of the times those things happen that you never expected will happen, but never forget that things go wrong so that they can go right in a much more beautiful way than you expected.